Inglorious Funnels is seemingly everywhere in Long Beach. The tiny but mighty food truck has held a perpetual presence everywhere, from food festivals and private events to their long-standing space at The Pike Outlets in DTLB. The result? A dedicated following, the ability to grow from their corporate jobs to own something of their own, and stability.
But just as quickly as they scored their food truck dreams, owners Isabel and Jorge Ramirez rightfully want more. They want to see their sweet space eventually become a permanent home, a la brick-and-mortar.
Corporate doldrums, depression, and debility: The start of Inglorious Funnels grew out of wanting something more.
In 2012, at the Cypress Swap Meet, Inglorious Bastards was technically born as a popup—but after one year, Isabel and Jorge returned to their corporate jobs. Jorge returned to Direct TV, and Isabel returned to Lakeshore School Supplies.
“Returning to that work was soul-sucking,” Isabel said. “And not just that: I was getting sick. I was getting physically ill from the constant dedication to something that was not returning blessings. To have to constantly be under someone else instead of yourself, hearing these constant demands: ‘Get me this, get me that.’ And you do: You surpass the goals they give you and all you get is a pat on the back… It came to a point where I was in my cubicle and literally told Jorge, ‘I can’t do this anymore. It’s killing me.'”
Isabel [left] and Jorge Ramirez [right] create sweet treats in their Inglorious Funnels food truck.
The very reason behind starting the endeavor remained strong. Memories of the popup soon began to override their present statuses, especially as both grew weary of corporate life’s doldrums and depression.
“There was a Puerto Rican festival back in the day—2009? 2010? That’s where the idea of focusing on sweets came from,” Jorge said. “Because I was so excited to see a funnel cake maker there. I ordered one, super happy to taste it. And it was awful. It was the worst—seriously: horrible. I told myself, ‘I can make one better.'”
‘It’s pride in owning one’s work, of owning your life—even in a truck.’
After getting financing for the $100,000 investment they would be putting into the purchase of the truck, Inglorious Funnels was officially born.
Avoiding pre-made mixes, their dry components are individually collected and measured before turning into batter. This was an endeavor, mind you, that took Jorge months and months of R&D to achieve. And the same goes for their churros, which are made fresh every day to order.
Cementing Inglorious Funnels as the ultimate funnel cake-r in Long Beach
The sweets of Inglorious Funnels must be experienced as intended: On the spot, standing underneath its neon glow of white fluorescent lights, surrounded by festival goers or late-night food seekers, or perhaps just yourself.
There are masterful churros—a recipe Jorge perfected as much as he did his funnel cake recipe. Deep-fried Snickers and Uncrustables, the latter of which should not be skipped.
But it’s all about the funnel cakes.
Accordingly, if there is one peak representation, it would have to be “The Bear.” This glorious funnel cake is topped with bananas, plenty fo hunks of walnuts, vanilla ice cream, drizzlings of cajeta, whipped cream, and powdered sugar before being topped with a cherry.
The search for a brick-and-mortar for Inglorious Funnels continues—as does the trek from parking spot to parking spot.
There are many misconceptions and romanticizations of food truck life, which, as a result, leads to their vilification. For those who don’t remember, food trucks faced the same ire that street vendors currently face: Restaurateurs and brick-and-mortars considered them to operate unfairly, escaping the mass of red tape involved with operating a formal restaurant.
And to an extent, that was true—but since things have changed. Instead, permits, business licenses, and health checks are required. Additionally, commissary kitchens are needed for preparing meats and hot dishes—one of the largest in L.A. caters to some 800 food trucks—so that food safety can be ensured. Because of these alterations, tensions remain somewhat heightened, but they are nowhere near their height in 2021. And the battle against food trucks isn’t quite at the same temperature as the current struggle between restaurants and street vendors.
Accordingly, while Inglorious Funnels doesn’t require a commissary because they serve desserts and fried bread, they work their asses off like any other properly functioning food business. With that, they are looking for the next step in their Inglorious evolution: a brick-and-mortar.
“We want to stay in Long Beach,” Isabel said. “We want to invest in Long Beach. But it isn’t easy.”
Their search for a space has proved both taxing and unfulfilled, but they don’t plan on giving up. Until then? Order a “Bear” and people watch at The Pike Outlets.
Inglorious Funnels can be found regularly at The Pike Outlets along Shoreline Drive in DTLB, Thursdays through Mondays from 4PM to 10PM.
